Author photo by Carlo Pieroni
Are you so afraid of failing that you’re willing to avoid any possibility of defeat? If so, you have already failed. Failure and success are flipsides of the same coin—twins, not enemies. Avoidance of failure turns into avoidance of success. It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but to attain what you want you must be willing to accept what you don’t want.
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Prevent imposter phenomenon from blocking your success. A patient of mine was having an anxiety attack because she feared she would not be able to succeed in the highly competitive real estate field in which she had worked 24/7 for several years. She believed it was only a matter of time before her incompetence would […]
Ever have a small setback or fall into a bad mood and throw your resolutions to the wind? Ever say to hell with it because you blew your eating plan when you polished off that chocolate bar in the morning, so you decide you might as well have dessert after dinner? Or after missing a week of exercise, you chunk the whole idea of physical fitness? Welcome to the Club.
If you suffer from this malady, you have a relentless voice that lives in your brain, ruling your mind and life, bludgeoning you with oppressive words such as must, should, ought, and have to: “I must win that contract”; “I have to get that promotion”; “I should be a better person”; “People must do as I say”; “Others must see my point of view”; “I should have done better on that project”; “Life must be easier than this.”
“The really efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work, but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure.” —Henry David Thoreau
Chances are you’re not buying the opening quote, but I promise it’s true. If you’re like many people, you’re so accustomed to multitasking you might believe it’s the only way to reach your goals.
“Tremor of truth” is phrase used in physical fitness circles when you push yourself to the max. Your brain says you can’t do it. But just as grass grows through concrete, you get a second wind, persevere, and discover mental and physical reserves you didn’t know you had. And just before giving up, you push through the challenge.
The key to success—even more important than skill—is resilience, dogged determination in the face of defeat. Tremor of truth builds muscles on the physical plane and a growth mindset on the psychological plane.
If you’re like most people, you sizzle when disappointments and letdowns come at lightning speed from all angles. Pressures, obstacles, interruptions, delays, rejections and unrealized expectations can feel like pummeling bullets, and you hit the roof before you know it. Perhaps something your spouse or partner says or does besieges you with emotion, sending you over the edge. And after the damage is done you regret it. We now know more about why it’s difficult to control those hair-trigger reactions and the little-known secret to managing them.
We all know that achieving success and happiness depends on having balance between work and personal time. But in today’s hectic world, where you must do more in less time and with fewer resources, that goal can seem impossible to attain.
All you have to do to turn back the clock is one simple thing: Change your outlook. The way in which you think about your lot makes all the difference in your mood and longevity.